Earmuffs, Parko
by seeleybaby
Summary: This is based on a challenge I received: Parker asks Booth about the birds and the bees. Shorty little one shot for fun. I wrote this in March, before the whole Brennan wants Booth's baby dealio


"I ordered for you, Bones" Booth smiled at her distractedly as she pulled off her bag and set it on the chair beside her.

"Thanks." She smiled as he frowned into the phone. "What's the matter?"

He looked at her. "Rebecca. Apparently there is something Parker HAS to talk to me about."

"Oh"

"Yeah. She's bringing him here. You don't mind, do you, Bones?"

"No, I don't mind" she answered. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No…of course not…yeah, see you" he closed his phone. "You don't need to leave, Bones. I'm sure it's nothing."

Brennan bit her lip, but didn't comment.

A few minutes after their food arrived, Booth got another call. "Cullen…" he said when he looked at the ID. "Should probably get this."

"Sure, Booth."

"I'm going to take this outside, okay? If Parker comes in, just…order him some fries, or something, okay?"

Brennan nodded. "Okay…sure."

--b&b--

After a few moments, Brennan saw the boy approach with his mother.

"Where's Seeley?" Rebecca asked.

Brennan stood up. "He had to take a call. From his boss. But he'll be right back" she assured. "I'm sure."

Rebecca considered it, then shrugged. "Okay. Parker, be good for Dr. Brennan till Dad gets back, okay?"

"Sure, Mom."

Brennan sat down again and smiled nervously at the boy across the table. "So…Parker, I guess you have something you need to ask your dad. Maybe I can help" she offered.

Parker shrugged. "I just wondered where babies come from."

"Oh" Brennan nodded. "Well THAT is very simple, you see. Come over here, Parker" Brennan began, and she pulled out her laptop. "I'll be happy to explain that…."

--b&b--

Booth closed his phone and reentered the diner, pausing when he saw his son and his partner looking at her computer. Oh, that was nice.

"Hey guys" he smiled, "Hey Parker, what's up, buddy?" He ruffled his son's head.

"Hey Dad" Parker looked at him. "Bones is getting ready to show me how babies are made."

Booth sat, but missed the chair and ended up on the floor.

"BOOTH!" Brennan stood. "Are you okay?"

He waved her off and stood up, brushing of his pants. "I'm fine, Bones. The real question is whether or not you are a totally insane person!"

Brennan frowned. "Why would that be a question? You know my intelligence is superior, Booth. There is nothing about me that suggests insanity."

Booth put his palms on the table, and his eyes narrowed. "Well, maybe…" for a second he paused. "Uh…earmuffs, Park-o"

Brennan watched as the boy put his hands tightly over his own ears.

"What is that, Booth?"

"That is for when I am with an adult having an adult conversation…which is something apparently you have no grasp of…"

Parker watched with fascination as the two adults spoke quickly. He couldn't hear any of the words coming out of their mouths, but his dad looked _mad_. And Dr. Brennan was standing now, and they were getting closer. It was kind of funny to watch them but not be able to hear what they were saying.

Booth stopped Brennan halfway through her discussion of sexual organs when he heard Parker laughing.

"What's so funny, bud?" he asked, but then remembered that Parker couldn't really hear him.

He bent down and smiled and pulled Parker's hands from his ears. "What's so funny, buddy?"

Parker smiled. "You and Bones looked funny when you were fighting."

"Oh, we weren't fighting" Booth shook his head. "Were we?" he asked his partner.

She shrugged. "No, I don't think so. We were just…discussing…"

"Oh…it looked like fighting" Parker's brow furrowed, and Booth felt a bit guilty.

"Well, bud" he pulled his son over to the side of the table. "Sometimes Dad and Bones just discuss things loudly; that's all." He ventured a smile to his partner. "Right, there, Bones?"

"Sure" she tried to smile as well.

"What were you discussing?" Parker wanted to know.

"The merits of sterilization— oh" Brennan trailed off as she saw the look in Booth's eyes.

"We were just _discussing_…babies" Booth swallowed, and Parker looked at him.

"Where do they come from, Dad?"

"Right…" Booth pulled on his collar and grimaced a bit. "Well, Parker…here's the thing…you're kind of young, and…"

"His innate curiosity shouldn't be held against him, Booth" Brennan interjected.

"BONES!" Booth hissed. "_Please!_" He sighed, and turned back to Parker. "You see, buddy…when two people, a man and woman, like…like Mom and me…" Booth coughed and took a drink of his water, "Well…when they like each other, a lot…sometimes…sometimes there's a baby."

Brennan snorted at his explanation, and Booth glared at her.

"Oh" Parker was saying. "But…but how does it get into the mom?"

Booth raised his eyebrows and blew out a breath. "Well, Parker…that's not really good talk for the dinner table. But I promise I'll talk to you about it later, okay?"

Parker nodded. "Okay, sure."

Booth smiled and rubbed his head. "Thanks, buddy."

"You're welcome, Dad" Parker laughed. "Why are you thanking me?"

"Uh, because…"

"Because you are agreeing to spend more time with him" Brennan offered, and Booth looked at her, amazed.

"That's right, Parker…that's why." Booth smiled at his partner.

"Hey Dad?"

Booth tore his eyes from Brennan. "Yeah?"

"I know we'll talk later, but…to have a baby, the mom and dad should like each other, right?"

"Yes, that's right." Booth frowned, wondering if Rebecca had been talking to their son about him. "Why do you ask?"

Parker shrugged. "Like you and Bones?"

"Hmmm…what?" Booth started. "What like me and Bones?"

"You like each other. So…you might have a baby?"

"Whoa…Parker…wait a minute…" Booth sputtered.

"I would" Brennan answered calmly.

"Uh, what, Bones?"

She shrugged. "I would have a baby with you, if you asked."

Booth's eyes about came out of their sockets. "BONES!" he hissed again. "You….what?"

She shrugged. "I don't feel the need…"

Booth held up his hand. "Hang on, Bones….Earmuffs, Park-o"

Parker put his hands over his ears again, very tight.

"Now, what, Bones?"

"I'm just saying that I don't feel the need to procreate. But…if you ever decided you wanted to have another baby, and no one else would do it…I would do that for you."

"Have my baby…"

"Yes" she answered.

Parker watched again as his dad and Bones talked back and forth. Their mouths were moving just as quickly as before, and his dad's hands were waving too, like usual. But this time, it didn't seem like they were yelling. Parker laughed again when his dad made a funny face, and then his dad looked at him, and pulled away his hands.

"Ready to go, Parker?" Booth asked him

"Sure, Dad" he answered, and bent over to pick up his back pack. "Bye Bones."

"Goodbye, Parker." She smiled and waved as they walked out the door.

Parker followed his dad to the big truck and got in, buckling his seat belt. Once his dad was also buckled, Parker looked out the window, "Oh, there's Bones" He pointed, and Booth looked over to see his partner walking on the sidewalk toward her car. She didn't see them, though.

"Yep" Booth nodded. "There's Bones."


End file.
